hot off the presses, a heavy dose of food-sports (mostly not food nor sports related)

Food-sports nation,

Whay have you not heard more from me and my irreverant and sometime insightful and amusing banter and bumbling? Well, the truth is as I have alluded to so often before, I have censored myself because of a penchant to divulge too much and share too much about myself and other people thus jeopardizing personal privacy and causing some disrupt. Now, I come back to you my loyal base and reveal myself and more depth while hopefully being very tactful and considerate to the privacy of others. That being said, I do so wish to tell all ... but I will refrain. Instead I will speak somewhat allegorically and in riddles so as to allow the imagination of the reader to discern and try to understand for yourself what I am attempting to convey, while also hopefully stumbling upon some hidden meanings (unintended and intended) that provide a mirror to the soul!

Let us proceed -- with a story, a tale, and maybe not so much food-sports related specifically in regards to the matters of food and sports but moreso true to the ethos and sentiment which food-sports stands for ... that being, a revelation unto oneself both eternaly and absolutely true while also very relative and subjectively substantial. Let this paradox be known as it runs deeply through the web of tales that I am to tell.

First, there is the story of myself or something like myself - again given the artistic licensce and attempt to withhold some sense of privacy - so do please take this tale with some grain of salt as i proceed to paint the picture so majestically of a young lad growing up in ... hm, well lets call it tnomdeip. yes, very secretive indeed the location of this yarn -- imagine a town with pink sidewalks and beautiful giant oak trees lining the serene streets of this somewhat suburban land in the area of yab or rather lets call it ayb ... maybe better yet area b or strike that how about bay a ... hm, ok, you get the idea its a place and tnomdeip lies within this local as a sort of quisi-suburban oasis that some outsiders often referred to as a bubble ... a city unto itself, with big expensive houses for the most part and a high property tax to keep the city and its schools specifically strong and vibrant and also very exclusive to a certain moneyied or wealthy class of folk. Perhaps now, this will be the heart and soul of this tale - a unique town in a unique place with rich history but specifically detailing a unique and very interesting time in its history and very interesting people living during this time in this place of so much intrigue.

Now again that I have brought back your attention and built up your enthusiasm for my story i will interject briefly and reminisce for a moment - ok good, that was enjoyable for myself i hope you were able to gain from the experience as well!

Going forward, or rather backward, up and down and all around -- we proceed. You are very dizzy now, no doubt. Puke, take another shot of your choice beverage or not, and continue with me now dazed a bit adiquitly so as to better handle the matters I am about to expose to you. Trust your faithful guide, it is always better ... oh wait, dont trust me that much ...

again,

... to be continued ...

 

Harbaugh is a hottie, What you talkin about Willis, and The Fart III

hello ford-sports nation,

back by popular demand, substance! ... in a rambling joycian esc prose so as to capture the full essence of all in bits and peices!!!  sooo, yes, here we goooo ... niners vs saints ... talk shit to guy in saints shirt on street ... go to bars anthony bourdain went to on his layover in sf ... nyc ... momofuku ... giants vs packers ... football ...

so, one fun fact marite (executive assistant at food-sports and my lady friend) did predict the end of the niners vs saints game ... with 4 minutes to go and th niners up by six she felt the saints were going to score but then vernon davis would do something big ... then with two minutes to go after trading tds and the saints down by four she felt the saints were going to score and i think she predicted jimmy graham (or at least she conceded that we should have knocked him out of the game when we had a chance to in the first drive of the game when donte whitner was on a mission to seriously injure all saints offensive players and very much offended marite's sensibilities when she saw his hit or rather gruesome devourement of their running back piere thomas whom by the way espn ran an article the week before about how the niners have knocked out 5 of 16 starting running backs they had faced now make that 6 of 17!) ... now, so with two minutes to go marite said td saints but then vernon davis would do something or actually i think she said something like saints will do something and then vernon will do something great ... btw her first td saints prediction made me very angry because at that point our anemic offense showed no signs of being able to retaliate against a pop warner team ... but then i guess we decided to play or rather the saints defense decided not to! ...

ok, now that being said, marite and her friends believe jim harbaugh is a hottie and vernon davis maybe running around with the lady boys in the castro -- either way its cool vd -- but i explained to her that it was just his style, he is like a bohemian modern day awesome man with amazing fashion sense ... i think his scarf is what tipped marite off .... anyway, she also predicted courtney kardashian was pregnant before it went public so the girl does have a weird female sixth sense on some of these things, or at least predicting the last 4 minutes of the most rediculous four minutes of football ever!

ok, now that being said rambling on continued ...

yes, now to the Fart III, after the Catch III that night we went out to the bars in sf on polk and noticed a weird fart smell follow us wherever we went, specifically to three separate bars ... thus the Fart III ... epic, furthermore i have been told to rely a special fart reducing concoction or rather addition to lentals which is vinegar! 

adaeu

and another one bites the apple

thats right food-sports city, or town ... actually we are now reduced to more a like small dwelling -- i dont believe we were ever a nation at all, but had a little bit of a megalomania complex.  anyway, now that this is settled let us move forward. 

i have been called upon to present to you all a 'real' blog entry.  and so, i answer ... with this fart in the wind excuse and a desparate cry to -- oh holy cow,

its time to get some lunch! 


furthermore, i dont believe i have anything really interesting or much at all interesting to say in regards to food-sports ... i mean, come on ... right?  so i am moving the conversation forward, to talk about another passion of mine

um, ok, i just checked my soul ... no other passions exist, sorry and back to food-sports.  actually, once a child while playing one of many fantastical and somewhat sad games i very purdently crafted during my many hours of daily do nothing time ... and so the body was dug up and reburied~! It was a very simple concept and preoccupied many of weeks at a time but for some reason was never adopted into our national pastime of games. 

more, you want more, ... you beg and plead and then throw very ripe tomatoes at me -- that's right do it, i want to be pelted by many ripe tomatoes like they do in spain because it is fun and same with running away from bulls !!! shit, thats right food-sports has now become an international appeal and will be covering obscurities of the kind, this week the focus is on antarctica ...

did you know?  (this is a new section i am working on as well, called 'did you know' very craftily) that in antractica eskimos and such play a very interesting game called wehapalooo -- no no dont go ahead and google it, thats right i just made it up and it does not exist at all.  but, i am sure they play some interesting games or sports in antarctica and probably eat food, oh like seals blubber!  yeah, that is right fat and juicy and they will bottle that stuff too ...

hm, so there you have it folks, i killed aman like i said in my gchat away message ... aman of course being the spicy tuny wrapped in a meditteranean bun like situation.  and i ate it and ate it good. 

sorry folks, in my next entry i promise some real insight into todays world, actual facts and interesting ones too, and some painful reflection digging deep into the meaning of life and revealing the blood guts and tears. 

but for now, make up a game and play it in public ... draw a small crowd, and teach others -- please tell results.

sincerely,

food-sports